Of morons and circumcised bald men.

I think I’m much too emotional for my own good. My entire evening was ruined yesterday simply because of an argument I had with one of the retards I’m forced to with in another department. It was a stupid argument “Machang, when I try to telnet to this server it says ‘Connection refused’… why is that?” “Who knows? Maybe the port is closed, the service you’re trying to access on that port is down or the server’s firewall is blocking you, or the service itself may have timed, it could be many things.” “But I can telnet from other machines!” “That maybe so, you may have reached your connection limit to that server”  at this point I must interject that I had no idea what server/service/etc this moron was talking about. Anyway, he continues “So can you send someone down here to fix it?” “How would sending someone down there help fix anything? It’s a problem on the server or its connection, not on the machine you’re trying to connect from.” “But I can connect from other machines!! I’m already connected to that server on three other machines” “*sigh* yes I told you this once already, then there is probably a connection limit set on the server you’re trying to connect to and as such it is preventing any further connections. What you need to do is disconnect an existing connection to the server from another machine so your machine will be free to use that slot.” “So then you’re going to send someone to look at it no?” “No” “Why not?? We’re falling behind production, we’ll mark the downtime on account Systems’ inability to rectify this problem” “Go ahead, there’s no problem on our end, if you’d like to come up here I can show you a real-time representation of our network all the way to New Jersey”… at this point the moron’s manager gets on an extension and says pretty much the same thing his bitch has been saying so far. About a minute after the bald circumcised bastard started talking I began to lose my cool. I said I would come down and have a look at it personally, in a rather unfriendly manner. When I went down there, I asked the moron where the workstation in question was, and went up to the operator and asked him to telnet to this server. It connected instantly and he logged in, and tried to not look too much in awe/surprise/guilty/embarrassed (although I doubt these ungrateful fucks have either of the latter two emotions... that would require men with some ethics and moral fiber and just plain decency). I called over moron and his keeper and showed them, “But it didn’t connect before! You must have done something upstairs!” “Listen you uncivilized toad, how long did it take me to put down the phone and come down here?! A minute or two? That’s how much time it takes to come down here. So are you saying that I did this while I was traveling from my office to your department?” “I don’t know, I-,” “Exactly, you don’t know, so don’t fucking form assumptions on something you have absofuckinglutely no clue about. Now show me the other machines which connect to the same server”. And he showed. One was displaying the login screen. “Only two of them are connected, you said you had three workstations online.” “Yes but operator of that machine logged out because his shift is over”. So I logged in with my trusty domain admin account and brought up a telnet to this server. Connection refused. “Now this computer won’t connect to the server! Did you change the settings (he doesn’t know what settings, how or where, just that the word is available for his abuse) so that the other computer can connect and this can’t?” At this point I shall have to point out that my fuse was very short indeed, therefore I decided to completely ignore moron from now on, since my work here was nearly complete anyway. There was no need to get abusive. I simply gathered everyone around me, moron and keeper included, and explained with much coldness what exactly was happening, and went on to mention how all this could have been avoided if moron (yes I named him.. I usually don’t directly accuse people, but this was required) has simply listened to me, especially since I *am* the network engineer, I *do* have some inkling of what I’m talking about. I managed to pull this off with pretty much a straight face, even though I felt like grinning a little at the looks I was receiving now by some of the people in our friendly circle.

P.S. the entire conversation pretty took place in Singhalese and using the Singhalese equivalent of those expletives in English would be too rude even for me, I merely used them for effect, but I pretty much conveyed the same idea through my liberal use of large Singhalese words.