Personal Reflection

This post starts off with a reality check; that being the fact that the civil war has returned and happy days are back again. On a more personal note, it seems that my social life has picked up a little too, since I basically spent every Saturday night of the last month out doing something, nothing as glamorous as clubbing at places with 500 buck entrance fees and 3k worth bottles of booze, but just hanging out with friends at their pads.

The latest episode was last Saturday when I was invited to a birthday party. The party kicked off the moment I parked the van, because unbeknownst to me, I had parked adjacent to large and disused pond and I opened the door and *kerplash*, I’d taken my weekly bath a day earlier than anticipated. We chatted for about a half hour or so and then began the boozing. And what boozing it was! OR was flowing freely for the better part of 6 hours, we must’ve polished off over 10 bottles (this was among 15 or so guy mind), and I took fancy to a bottle of wine I came across being served to ladies (yes a few were present), which tasted like alcoholic ribena. By this time the barbecue was in full swing too, so I must’ve hoarded an entire chicken and curled up in my corner nursing the bottle of wine. I was so wasted, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think it was about 4:30 when I got home, but even then I stayed up a little while chatting on IRC before I actually went to sleep at around 6 or so.

It’s time for personal reflection now, and I guess this months topic is how even the smallest things we do sometimes have the biggest impact in our lives. Sometimes it’s as simple as refraining from doing anything at all. But I’m thankful to God that he’s shown me my mistakes before I came to the point where I would have been totally powerless to change things around. This point hit home with me a few years ago, but recently it was reinforced once more; case-in-point, I came across one of my school buddies from my Stafford days recently through Miss Judy. We were in the same class in school and got along rather well, I remember even inviting him once for a birthday treat with just two other guys who were close friends at the time, and we used to hang often at one of those guys’, Ali, house. But then came O/Ls and I left Stafford for Gateway for my A/Ls and we eventually drifted apart. I guess that’s one my extreme weaknesses, not keeping in touch with friends. I still do that. Anyway, we found each other a few years ago on ICQ but then that didn’t last long either, and then I’ve run into him at the odd times in Bamba about 3 years or so ago.

But it was only last week that our paths crossed again through Her Lady’s assistance, and I found myself wondering where exactly I had gone wrong in my life for us to have been so much the same 10 years ago and so different now, and it dawned on me that it was not any single action that caused this but the accumulation of many; lack of direction and purpose mainly. And I think now whether if indeed God is offering me a second chance at becoming something at the ripe old age of 26, or if he’s through giving me chances and just waiting for me to fail again. By second chance I mean that I have once again resumed my degree, which I have mentioned in my earlier posts, and I’m working at a place I don’t completely hate just yet and the work I do is rather interesting, if a little monotonous at times, but then beggars can’t be choosers I always say. But I digress; the point I was coming up to was that as much as I want to speak to him, I’m ashamed to because of what I have become. I mean all you have to do is read his blog to realize that he’s living “The life” where as I’m just trying to survive. One thing I know is that luck has nothing to do with it. It’s all in you and how committed you are to wanting to something and the lengths (within sane limits) you would go to, to get it. Anyway I guess I should sign off now, and I hope anybody coming across this post would leave their thoughts in the form of a comment.
Peace.